R: Am I supposed to like Bon Iver?
M: Not really, no.
R: Good, because I think I might actively hate him. He does look like someone I would sleep with as long as I didn’t hear his music first, then he would not like me because I would make fun of his vagina music.
M: He’s so close to good but then his vagina gets so sore.
R: Maybe it is sandy? He should stop having sex at the beach, but it is a good place to serenade his dates with his achy vagina music.
M: No, he lives in the woods because he is a SERIOUS BRO.
R: Ew. No wonder I don’t like his music. Beck’s version of that was only acceptable because 1) it was fantastically well-done, and 2) there was only one album like it. Plus he did not go to the woods. If we ever break up will you make a dance pop album about it?
M: No, I will probably make a sad album too. That is what serious bros do.
R: Will you have one dance-pop song on it as an homage?
M: But of course!